My Shooting Star, My Promise

Recently I found myself reading through old journal entries. Sometimes I like to do this to see how far God has brought me... or just to relive some memories.

I stumbled upon one from 2006 that was just oozing with the realization about how much God loves me...

Here's the story...

I was having REALLY tough issues of not feeling like I was good enough, and struggling a ton with depression. At this time in my life depression was one of my closest friends. On this one occassion, this one night when I was home alone and just surrounded in the murkiness of depression I went outside to try and get away from everything. At this point I was living out in the country where the only neighbors I had were cows, cows, and more cows :) I laid out on the grass in the middle of my big yard in complete darkness (it was a cloudy night) and started to cry out to God... I felt like I was completely alone... God wasn't listening. Why would He? I remember saying "show me a sign to let me know You're here." Before I could even start to feel ashamed for asking God to prove Himself the sky was FILLED with stars... The clouds had COMPLETELY disappeared... My heart started to melt. Then a brilliant shooting star shot across the sky... I knew at that exact moment that God was there... that He was listening... and that He LOVED me... and He had NEVER left my side...

God knows our hearts... God hears our prayers. Even when it seems like you are the last person God wants to hear from or love on... He is right there anticipating the next thing You'll say to Him. He LOVES you... He loves YOU! You are precious to Him... He has never created anything else like you... You are His jewel.

Ask God to show you a sign of His love for you... It may be a sky filled with stars, or a bay covered in starfish (as in "Captivating" by Jhn and Stasi Eldredge). Just as you are unique to God, so is His love for you... and He wants to show it you. Just ask. I would love to hear what you find!

Spent the Night With The Lions... Not a Scratch To Be Seen...

I know its been an EXTREME amount of time since I last posted something (atleast I feel like it has haha). I wanted to take the opportunity to catch you up on everything going on in my life :)



If you read "Caught In A Den of Lions" you know that life got TOUGH... really tough. But I knew that God had something planned for me to come out of the toughness. The past 4 months have possibly been the GREATEST learning experience of my life.



As I wrote I lost my car and my apartment within a few short days... And as I said I was going to I remained peaceful through the whole experience. I knew that I obviously couldn't trust in myself anymore... I had done that for WAYYYY too long and it got me nowhere. And left me with nothing to my name...



Since I decided to trust God my life took a 180...



I now live somewhere RENT FREE, and I have a WONDERFUL, safe, dependable car that I got for a ridiculously low price (by the GRACE of God).



But God didn't stop there... :)



Oh, not in the least bit.



I was offered a better place to work and now do what I LOOOOOOVE.



I got ENGAGED to the man of my dreams!



The church that Adam interned at this summer offered him the youth pastor position at their campus in Winchester. Our first youth event is this Sunday!



Not only did God take care of the things I felt I needed... but He blessed me beyond that with things I had been dreaming about for a long time. I say all of this, just to encourage you to TRUST God. He brings you through the valley or the lion's den for a greater prupose. My purpose was to learn to lean only on Him, I had NOTHING, so He became my EVERYTHING. God does not bring us through trials as a way of showing His disappointment with us, but to lavish His love upon us... and bring us into the relationship we were created to have with Him.



Whatever you have on your shoulders... lay it on God's. Trust Him. He will bring you through and reveal His love and Will to you, without a scratch to be seen!

Simply Jesus.

I was going to write about this... But I thought it would just be easier for me to show you :) I think over the years... the definition of church and Jesus have become distorted...

http://vimeo.com/14903345

Caught In A Den of Lions

"Sometimes life throws you curve balls." I've heard this saying time and time again in my life... and never has it rang so true as it has the past month and a half. In a few short weeks I have lost my car and my apartment.

Initial Reaction? Bitterness, anger, neglect...

Current State? Joyful, hopeful, at peace.

When I was in an "accident" about a month and half ago I felt hopeless. Its easy sometimes to see our loss as God's neglect. But that couldn't be further from the truth. Its in our loss that God desires to teach us greatly.

What did I need to learn?

TRUST.

Like most people I have chosen to trust in myself. It seems easier to depend on yourself than to lay your life in the hands of the Unseen. But God desires us to trust Him with that... with our WHOLE lives. Not just partial. One of the many definitions of immerse is to "fully submerge"... to immerse yourself in God's love, you cannot be partial. The same goes with trusting Him... you cannot be partial. When I realized that God was teaching me to trust, my whole persona changed... Suddenly peace surrounded me. I realized He was in control of ALL my life and was taking care of me. Stress fled from me (if you know me I tend to stress A LOT). Not too long after I learned to truly trust God I got a message from my landlord saying I had two weeks to move out...

I decided to praise God instead of stress.

And I truly feel like a new person. I look at things first with joy knowing even in the worst conditions God is going to take care of me. Daniel was in a pit of lions and still praised God... How can I not? Life is sweeter to the taste knowing that the God that holds the whole universe and brings together all things for His good is taking care of me.

I challenge you.

If you are going through tough times... or even blessed times, turn your hope and trust to God. You will NEVER be able to fulfill your purpose alone. It can't be done. We weren't created to live without our Creator. He will ALWAYS know whats best.

Praise Him in your den of lions.

He will bring you through with more to show than when you began.

Oh Love That Drenches Thy Soul

If I could sum up my emotions into one word or phrase at this point in my life, I honestly wouldn't be able to...

Over the past month God has laid out paths before me (and Adam) that I never imagined setting foot on this early in my life. A month ago I was shaky about life and my future, and now...? I have direction, a goal, a passion. I have a hunger that I have never known in my life... This deep, utter longing for that of which only the creator of the universe can provide.

Now... let me explain... Adam and I have been given a very awesome opportunity... mainly based upon ministering to youth... starting in the next couple months (I say absolutely none of this to brag, if anything I am overwhelmed with humility). I can tell you with every ounce of my heart that I LOVE these kids that God is going to place in our lives and the crazy part is that I don't even know them yet... but even so, I love them...

Which makes me think...

If I, as a human, that has no understanding of the full capacity of God's love can love these kids that I have never met, how much more then does God love them...? He knows everything about them (about me and you) and yet with every flaw, mistake, hurt, He LOVES them (us) in all His fullness. If that doesn't make you want to run and jump into the arms of God... I'm not exactly sure what will.

His grace, and love, and mercy are sooooo very far beyond our comprehension...

its BEAUTIFUL.

simply beautiful.

I encourage you, take a few minutes... or hours... or days just to linger in that love. Just to lay back and allow God to absolutely DRENCH you in rich love and mercy. There is NOTHING on this earth that can fulfill like that love does... He is waiting for you to drink deep of it. Breathe deep and allow God to fill those crevices long forgotten...

Hello

I have always had a very strong passion in my life for writing and literature. I have always been one to write in journal after journal. I feel its finally time I cross the threshold of the blogging world. I have a yearning in my heart to write about God's love and about falling deeper in love with the one who formed us with His own hands... I know I don't have everything figured out... nor do I ever think I will, but I know that by sharing my experiences I can reveal a little of the love that surrounds us. It is up to us to emmerse ourselves within that perfect love... to let God drown us in His beautiful passion and intimacy he so craves from each one of us. So my question is... will you let go...? Will you emmerse...?